Lips of an Angel
by xerxesdiva902
Summary: renXichi. warning! mature themes. hints of boyXboy sex. suicide/character death.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. KUBO TITE DOES.**

**00000000000000000000**

**Lips of an Angel**

_Honey why are you calling me so late?  
It's kinda hard to talk right now_

_Honey why are you crying, is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud_

The phone rang again. It was usually the same time, every two to three days, sometimes as rarely as once every two months. But Renji knew who it was. His caller knew he would be right about to sleep. As usual, he had to get to the phone first before Rangiku would or else his caller would not answer at all.

"Renji…" The sound of his voice would always make his heart nearly jump out of his ribs, perhaps out of joy; perhaps he just missed him so.

"Ichigo? I'm sorry, but it's a bad time… Ran's here." He finished lamely, because he knew whatever he was doing or he was with, he could never, ever abandon his one time lover.

"Please, this would just take a few minutes…"

"What the hell is going on? You fucking sound like hell." the red head whispered.

"It—it's Grimmjow…" Renji nearly punched the wall in frustration. He just could not stand Ichigo hurt like this.

"God, Ichigo how many times do you need to get hurt before you leave that bastard?" Renji whispered urgently. "Should you wait until it's too late?"

"… Please, I need to see you… Renji…" Ichigo could barely hold his sobs in.

"Tomorrow, okay? I promise, I'll see you tomorrow…"

_Well, my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on_

Renji always promised himself he's stop seeing Ichigo. He'd promised himself he'd move on, he already had Rangiku. He promised himself and yet here he was. He knew he dug his own grave by agreeing to see Ichigo the next day. But he couldn't help it, not when he knew the berry needed him badly.

As he silently walked toward the bed, he spied Rangiku's lovely sleeping form. He sat beside her, and then gently caressed her hair. She slowly opened her eyes as he smiled at her.

"Still awake?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah. But don'cha worry, I'll go to sleep soon. I just gotta do some things."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"It was just a wrong number." Rangiku thankfully let it go. Renji sighed inwardly. _This has got to stop._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
it sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

He was walking towards Ichigo's apartment like he usually did when he called. It was routine really. Ichigo would open the door for him. They would kiss and then they would fuck each other senseless until it was time for him to go back to his own apartment and into Rangiku's arms. And it was also tiresome. It hurts when he had to leave. He wondered if Ichigo felt the same way.

He always promised himself every time that it would be the last time he would see him, yet every time Ichigo called he'd come running to him anyway. How could this time be any different?

"Renji?" Ichigo didn't really need to ask. He knew it was him the moment he knocked on the door. But calling his name out assured him nonetheless. The red head always kept his promise.

He gently opened the door to his apartment and let the man in. He wrapped his arms around the other's neck and nuzzled against his chest. How he wished Grimmjow would care for him like Renji did. How he wished Grimmjow was Renji instead.

Renji gasped at what he saw. There was an angry bruise on the berry's cheek. He brought his hand to caress on the spot gently as Ichigo's arms wound around his neck and then gently kissed it.

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

Renji realized that after all this time; he still missed him so, as his fingers touched the berry's slightly swollen lips.

"What has he done to you?" he knew this question would go unanswered. But he continued to kiss Ichigo anyway as they held each other like a lifeline.

How they ended up in the berry's bedroom, he never really knew, but he would always remember every touch and every kiss. He would always remember Ichigo's almost overwhelming warmth as he thrust into him and the way he gasped and moaned his name. And he would never ever forget how Ichigo desperately clung to him and said he still loved him.

He lay staring at the ceiling after it was over, Ichigo's head resting on his chest. He used to be a constant source of relief for him, but now he was causing so much turmoil. He gently moved the smaller man's head from his chest and sat up, sheets pooling around his waist. He would almost tear his crimson locks out in frustration, he loved Rangiku, but he knew what he was doing would severely hurt her. But Ichigo needed him too. Why do things have to be so complicated?_**  
**_

His thoughts were interrupted when Ichigo reached out and gently caressed the small of his back. He turned and reached out for him as well, fingers tentatively touching his lips. A smile reached the berry's chocolate brown eyes even if it did not grace his lips.

"I have to go." That smile disappeared completely as a frown engulfed Ichigo's beautiful face.

"Please, stay the night…" the berry sat up and tried to wrap his arms around Renji, but he held onto his wrists tightly. The red head sighed. He kissed each hand and then lowered them to Ichigo's lap. Then one hand reached for Ichigo's shoulder as one gently cupped the berry's jaw.

"Ran and I decided to get married."

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
And does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

The phone rang again. Renji visibly flinched when he heard that sound, knowing full well who it would be. He could feel his resolve breaking away in pieces as his hand reached for the receiver. He felt his resolve completely crumble as he heard Ichigo's broken voice.

"Re-Renji?"

"Dammit, Ichigo, we agreed not to do this anymore. We agreed to stop." Renji whispered, anguish running through as he said those words.

"Renji, please listen to me. I love you. I never did stop loving you. I wish we never broke up. But I know it's too late now. But please, please do remember, I love you very much." Ichigo said in between sobs.

Silence. Renji felt something in his chest constrict painfully. It hurt just to breathe. He really couldn't say anything, because he wanted to badly admit he still loved him too.

"Th-this is the last time Renji. I'm sorry. Goodbye."

The call ended abruptly, and with it Renji felt his whole being collapse into disarray. He felt as if something very vital was ripped from him._**  
**_  
_Well my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on_

He sat on the couch for what he felt like hours, never really wanting to move from the spot. He felt unbalanced. He also felt helpless. It was finally over, and yet he felt miserable.

"Renji?" Rangiku's voice tinkled through the awkward silence.

Renji looked up to see her standing by the bedroom's doorway, half her face hidden by the darkness in the living room. He smiled, albeit weakly. "Hey. What'cha doin' still up?"

"I couldn't sleep." She playfully replied as she crossed her arms. "And why are _you_still up?" Renji espied the dull glint of the ring he gave her when he proposed. He felt even more ill.

"I couldn't sleep either. Come here." He tapped the space beside him.

As soon as she sat beside him, he immediately wrapped his arms around her, almost as if in urgency. He badly wanted to get rid of the feeling of imbalance right away. Rangiku curled up beside him and rested her head on his shoulder as he kissed her forehead. She sighed in pleasure as a contented smile graced her lips. His embrace tightened a fraction as he once again saw that damned ring.

"I love you." But it wasn't really Rangiku that he was saying this to and he knew it.

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

"Renji… Renji…" he awoke to the sound of Rangiku's voice and her smile, his arms wrapped around her. But Ichigo's face swam in his head, with a smile that he would never see again. It was just a dream, he supposed. He sighed.

"And good morning to you too." She said, sarcastically, but without much heat. She then pouted.

"I'm sorry…" he gave her an apologetic kiss to the forehead. "It's just headache."

She untangled herself from him and stood up. "I'll go and make breakfast then." But before she could go, he stood up and grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. "What?" she asked; confused.

He let her wrist go and then cupped her face as he gave her a gentle kiss. Her breath hitched at the sweetness of it all and responded with a kiss as well.

"You should do that more often." She smiled.

He watched her walk away. It hurt to lie to her and even more to himself. But he chose her. He chose her.

_**  
**__And I never wanna say goodbye  
But you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel  
Honey why are you calling me so late?_

"I'm home."

Ran greeted him with a kiss. But she was a little pale. "There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?"

"She said her name was Yuzu Kurosaki." Shock hit him like an ice cold bucket of water.

He immediately noticed a girl of about sixteen or seventeen sitting on the couch. She was looking ill at ease and pale, and her eyes were a bit puffy, like she just cried. As soon as their eyes met, her eyes lit up.

"Renji-nii!" she stood up and immediately ran toward him, sobbing.

"Yuzu?! What's going on? Why are you here?"

The girl was sobbing uncontrollably now. "Ichi-nii… Ichi-nii…"

He gently shook the girl. "Calm down, 'kay? What about your brother? What happened?" he asked, though dreading the answer.

"Ichi-nii's gone." She hiccupped. "They found his body washed up by the riverbank this morning."

Renji felt as if his breath was knocked out of him. His arms tightened around the distraught girl on their own accord. He felt numb, so numb he didn't feel tears flowing from his eyes.

It had been days since Ichigo's death. And it felt like years, of emptiness, because night after night, he still half expected the phone to ring, to assure him, in some way, that this was just a freakishly vivid nightmare. He was staring at the ceiling so like the past few nights; even sleep was denied to him. Rangiku's already asleep, curled up beside him, her head resting on the crook of his shoulder, one hand on his chest. He still waited for that phone call that he would never again receive, to hear the voice that he would never again hear.

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**a/n: i spent two straight weekends at my paternal grandma's house, you know, family celebration and some shit like that. and since it was a celebration, there were food, drinks and singing galore. so my cousins, siblings and i sang our throats out. unfortunately, this song stuck in my mind like crazy glue. so there. here is my first attempt at a song fic. who would've known.**

**hope you guys like it. =)**


	2. for freefallgypsy

**A/N: this is an alternate ending to "Lips of an Angel", as requested by freefall-gypsy, who threatened me with her kitten eyes of doom and destruction, and alas, I succumbed to its deadly cuteness. XD feel free to tell me what you think.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH.**

**00000000000000000000**

The phone rang again. It was usually the same time, every two to three days, sometimes as rarely as once every two months. But Renji knew who it was. His caller knew he would be right about to sleep. As usual, he had to get to the phone first before Rangiku would or else his caller would not answer at all.

"Renji…" The sound of his voice would always make his heart nearly jump out of his ribs, perhaps out of joy; perhaps he just missed him so.

"Ichigo? I'm sorry, but it's a bad time… Ran's here." He finished lamely, because he knew whatever he was doing or he was with, he could never, ever abandon his one time lover.

"Please, this would just take a few minutes…"

"What the hell is going on? You fucking sound like hell." the red head whispered.

"It—it's Grimmjow…" Renji nearly punched the wall in frustration. He just could not stand Ichigo hurt like this.

"God, Ichigo how many times do you need to get hurt before you leave that bastard?" Renji whispered urgently. "Should you wait until it's too late?"

"… Please, I need to see you… Renji…" Ichigo could barely hold his sobs in.

"Tomorrow, okay? I promise, I'll see you tomorrow…"

XXX

Renji always promised himself he's stop seeing Ichigo. He'd promised himself he'd move on, he already had Rangiku. He promised himself and yet here he was. He knew he dug his own grave by agreeing to see Ichigo the next day. But he couldn't help it, not when he knew the berry needed him badly.

As he silently walked toward the bed, he spied Rangiku's lovely sleeping form. He sat beside her, and then gently caressed her hair. She slowly opened her eyes as he smiled at her.

"Still awake?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah. But don'cha worry, I'll go to sleep soon. I just gotta do some things."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"It was just a wrong number." Rangiku thankfully let it go. Renji sighed inwardly. _This has got to stop._

XXX

He was walking towards Ichigo's apartment like he usually did when he called. It was routine really. Ichigo would open the door for him. They would kiss and then they would fuck each other senseless until it was time for him to go back to his own apartment and into Rangiku's arms. And it was also tiresome. It hurts when he had to leave. He wondered if Ichigo felt the same way.

He always promised himself every time that it would be the last time he would see him, yet every time Ichigo called he'd come running to him anyway. How could this time be any different?

"Renji?" Ichigo didn't really need to ask. He knew it was him the moment he knocked on the door. But calling his name out assured him nonetheless. The red head always kept his promise.

He gently opened the door to his apartment and let the man in. He wrapped his arms around the other's neck and nuzzled against his chest. How he wished Grimmjow would care for him like Renji did. How he wished Grimmjow was Renji instead.

Renji gasped at what he saw. There was an angry bruise on the berry's cheek. He brought his hand to caress on the spot gently as Ichigo's arms wound around his neck and then gently kissed it.

XXX

Renji realized that after all this time; he still missed him so, as his fingers touched the berry's slightly swollen lips.

"What has he done to you?" he knew this question would go unanswered. But he continued to kiss Ichigo anyway as they held each other like a lifeline.

How they ended up in the berry's bedroom, he never really knew, but he would always remember every touch and every kiss. He would always remember Ichigo's almost overwhelming warmth as he thrust into him and the way he gasped and moaned his name. And he would never ever forget how Ichigo desperately clung to him and said he still loved him.

He lay staring at the ceiling after it was over, Ichigo's head resting on his chest. He used to be a constant source of relief for him, but now he was causing so much turmoil. He gently moved the smaller man's head from his chest and sat up, sheets pooling around his waist. He would almost tear his crimson locks out in frustration, he loved Rangiku, but he knew what he was doing would severely hurt her. But Ichigo needed him too. Why do things have to be so complicated?

His thoughts were interrupted when Ichigo reached out and gently caressed the small of his back. He turned and reached out for him as well, fingers tentatively touching his lips. A smile reached the berry's chocolate brown eyes even if it did not grace his lips.

"I have to go." That smile disappeared completely as a frown engulfed Ichigo's beautiful face.

"Please, stay the night…" the berry sat up and tried to wrap his arms around Renji, but he held onto his wrists tightly. The red head sighed. He kissed each hand and then lowered them to Ichigo's lap. Then one hand reached for Ichigo's shoulder as one gently cupped the berry's jaw.

"Ran and I decided to get married."

XXX

The phone rang again. Renji visibly flinched when he heard that sound, knowing full well who it would be. He could feel his resolve breaking away in pieces as his hand reached for the receiver. He felt his resolve completely crumble as he heard Ichigo's broken voice.

"Re-Renji?"

"Dammit, Ichigo, we agreed not to do this anymore. We agreed to stop." Renji whispered, anguish running through as he said those words.

"Renji, please listen to me. I love you. I never did stop loving you. I wish we never broke up. But I know it's too late now. But please, please do remember, I love you very much." Ichigo said in between sobs.

Silence. Renji felt something in his chest constrict painfully. It hurt just to breathe. He really couldn't say anything, because he wanted to badly admit he still loved him too.

"Th-this is the last time Renji. I'm sorry. Goodbye."

The call ended abruptly, and with it Renji felt his whole being collapse into disarray. He felt as if something very vital was ripped from him.

XXX

He sat on the couch for what he felt like hours, never really wanting to move from the spot. He felt unbalanced. He also felt helpless. It was finally over, and yet he felt miserable.

"Renji?" Rangiku's voice tinkled through the awkward silence.

Renji looked up to see her standing by the bedroom's doorway, half her face hidden by the darkness in the living room. He smiled, albeit weakly. "Hey. What'cha doin' still up?"

"I couldn't sleep." She playfully replied as she crossed her arms. "And why are _you _still up?" Renji espied the dull glint of the ring he gave her when he proposed. He felt even more ill.

Renji realized that he couldn't hurt anyone any more. He stood up and then walked up to his fiancé. "Ran, I'm sorry. I should have told you… I should have told you, I'm in love with someone else."

Hurt was evident in the woman's eyes but it was with relief when she spoke. "You fool," she smiled, albeit sadly, as she caressed his cheek, "did you really think I would not figure that out?" she then gave him a chaste kiss. "Go after him. Go after him before it's too late."

Renji gratefully wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you."

He didn't want to wait until morning came. He immediately made a beeline to Ichigo's apartment, excitement palpable, and his happiness evident on his face. He felt as if a ton had been removed from his shoulders. He was finally free of guilt. He would finally be able to hold Ichigo in his arms without any fear, without any qualms.

As he reached the berry's apartment, he noticed the lights were off, but in his excitement passed it off.

"Ichigo! Ichigo! It's me, Renji!" he banged on the poor door, in blind panic when no one answered the door immediately.

A neighbor, who heard the racket the red head was making, nearly called the police but had a second thought. Instead, "Hey dude, do you have any idea what time it is? It's fucking 12:30 in the fucking night! Do you not have any respect?!"

"I'm sorry man. I'm just looking for the person living here, his name is Ichigo."

"Oh, you mean the berry head? Yeah, well, he went out, dunno where, but it was like a couple of hours ago." The neighbor said, suddenly helpful.

"Thanks pal, I owe you one." The neighbor shook his head, then went back inside his own apartment to go back to sleep. Renji then sprinted back to his car wondering where the berry could be. He suddenly realized that if there was a place the berry would go to, it would _that place_.

In about ten minutes, the red head arrived at the place where he first met Ichigo. It was at the bridge, the only way to their school. Back then, they lived in the opposite sides of town but went to the same high school. He parked his car then went on foot to search for the berry.

Renji found the berry, standing on the ledge, poised to jump.

"Fuck! Ichigo, get down from there please! Get down, please!"

Ichigo was startled to hear Renji's voice. He turned to look at the direction where the sound of the red head's voice came and saw a heartbreak etched in his features.

"Please Ichigo, listen. Please get down from there. Please." Renji begged of the berry once more.

"Renji…" the berry's voice was a whisper, tears trailing from his eyes.

The red head took a step closer, but he was rather worried that if he took anymore, he would jump. He could bear the thought of losing Ichigo, much less witness it. His confidence grew as the berry stood still on the ledge, waiting as he took another step forward.

"You know what Ichigo; I just realized how stupid I have been. I still love you too. I don't think I can live if I lose you." The red head said as he slowly took steps closer to the berry.

The berry's tears kept on streaming down his face. His determination to jump also decreased as he heard those words from the man he loved. He looked back at the red head, who was closing the distance between them.

"Ichigo, please, I beg you, please, don't do it. Please come down from there."

"Renji, I couldn't live without you too. I can't bear the thought of losing you." The berry said, so softly the red head barely heard it.

Then Ichigo moved so suddenly that Renji nearly didn't breathe in anticipation of what was to come. He ran to where the berry was; ready to grasp whatever body part he could grasp should he jump. But instead the berry turned around and took a step down from the ledge he was standing from. Renji released the breath he didn't know he was holding and grabbed Ichigo's waist and drew him close in an embrace.

"Please don't fucking scare me like that again Ichigo." The arms around his neck tightened. "Let's get you home, alright?"

The berry could only nod dazedly. Both men walked toward the car, Renji's arm around the berry's waist, one hand on his cheek, nose nuzzling his fragrant hair. He first opened the front seat door to let Ichigo get in the car, then he followed suit, getting in the driver's seat. The drive to the berry's apartment was uneventful and quiet, but there was an air of relief between the two men, which no word could easily describe.

Ichigo laid in bed, sleeping soundly, no doubt both emotionally and physically drained by the events that occurred earlier. But everything would no doubt be okay; he would stay by his side no matter what. Looking at the berry's peaceful face, Renji could not help but feel overwhelmed by the love he felt for him.

Renji lay next to the berry, drawing him close as he wrapped his arms around him. Tomorrow would be a new day for both of them. The red head fell asleep with a smile on his face.


End file.
